#we're ''bad influences'' and shes not allowed to talk to us

[haemosexuality]

i was at my cousin's birthday party, and of course i immediately went off to play with the kids instead of hanging out w the adults or ppl my age

eventually this girl i didnt know comes up to me and stars playing with my spike necklace. i asked "do you like it?" and she said "yeah" i asked "do you wanna use it??" and she said ":o.....yeah!!". i gave it to her and she loved it lmao

she went off with her friends but a bit later she came up to me again and said "hi lady, youre very pretty did you know?" and i 🥹🥹🥹🥹 MELTED i ofc said "thank you!! you are too!!!"

then when i was eating she came to get me because the kids were gonna start playing again. also she shared the candy she won with me and asked me to come dance with her when they were playing just dance

suddenly she got really quiet and sad while looking at the other kids and my heart broke bc i had that same expression so many times before. she said they all had paired up together and she was alone. later she told me she doesnt really like them because they always exclude her and make fun of her if she stays alone

she again came up to me and told me "youre really cool yknow?". me her and someone who i think was her sister kept talking for a bit they told me ab their school and that they liked my studded bracelet. i ofc let them borrow it too. she said "i already have two sisters but i wish you were my third sister" and i was like 😭 ADOPTION PAPERS NOWWWWWWWWWWWW

near the end of the party me her and my cousin (11) were talking and she said she has anxiety and has really bad panic attacks sometimes, the other kids used to bully her a lot for it and she doesnt feel comfortable being with them. i told her that i also have anxiety plus i have autism and i really suffered with friendships during school too, and that she shouldnt be friends with these people if they make her sad

eventually i had to leave tho and she hugged me goodbye all sad :((( melissa i will probably never see you again but i hope you know you are imprinted in my heart now

became best friends with a 10 yr old kid today i would die for her and also am adopting her

[dayslynthesix]

bad idea, right? | max verstappen x female!oc [part 1]

the one when max verstappen got back to his ex girlfriend

an: i swear part 2 is funnier please don't give up part 2

amayamedina

liked by itsmegigi, thstsanneg_, beabee, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and others

amayamedina i wish i was still blond to be on my merliah summers era. see you next year, spain, i had a lovely time here 🩷🇪🇸

itsmegigi the only certain i have in my life is that we're gonna be together next summer

amayamedina obviously girl, its us to the end of the world duuuhhh

thstsanneg_ i love you and i will definitely miss you during the year 😭😭

amayamedina stoppp you'll have to came to see mee 😭😭

beabee i think this was the best summer we ever had

amayamedina i know right?? this one felt more special

maxverstappen1 ⛱️🧡 liked by amayamedina

charles_leclerc it was lovely to meet you and the gang

amayamedina it was super nice to mee you, my mom will love to hear i watch the race from ferrari garage, shes a big fan

user1 so this is the girl we saw with max during the barcelona gp?

user2 idk maybe? she looks pretty

user3 she's a beach volleyball player i think

user6 how did you already found out her social media??

user1 she's a beach volleyball player (was, idk) and she's also a sports influencer

may 13th, 2019

amayamedina

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, itsmegigi, maxverstappen1, thstsanneg_ and others

amayamedina interlagos was alway my favorite track 🇧🇷

maxverstappen1 your my favorite ❤️

amayamedina i love youuuu

thstsanneg_ i still cant believe you're dating a playboy who's job is literally racing in circles

amayamedina i know right??

user83 i hate the way they talk about max career like it's nothing

user92 girl it's not that deep they're joking

itsmegigi you're kinda cute

maxverstappen1 are you considering redbull as your next team?

itsmegigi im with ferrari until the day i die

beabee mom and dad 🥰

amayamedina no

charles_leclerc gross

amayamedina no one invited you here and if i recall you and max are not on speaking terms so plese fix that!

charles_leclerc no

user1 SO SHE IS THE GIRL

user93 she was pretty much at every gp and was seen with him at least four times guys, it's obvious

user1 we're happy they announced, that's all

user33 she's so gorgeous

user83 i meet them last night and she was very polite AND she was the one who took the photo i have with max

november 19th, 2019

amayamedina

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, charlottesiine, itsmegigi, thstsanneg_ and others

amayamedina me and my girls (and the boys), italy trip you'll aways be famous! 🇮🇹

maxverstappen1 🧡🧡🧡

charles_leclerc the trip is always famous untill someone end up in the hospital with a food poisoning

amayamedina i told you to take it easy with the shrimp...

beabee ok that was amazing!! can't wait for next years

amayamedina we'l be here!

itsmegigi all the pottery it was me! i need people to know that ams and bea are shitty at it

amayamedina anne helped... a little

charles_leclerc no she didn't, she was BUSY TRYING TO GUIDE THE BOAT SINCE MAX AND AMAYA KEPT ARGUING!! comment have been deleted

charles_leclerc no she didn't 🤪

thstsanneg_ i love you guys

redbullracing take care of max, he's our precious driver and we need him!

amayamedinaif he was here i would! comment have been deleted

amayamedina sure adm! 😌

may 28th, 2021

amayamedina and maxverstappen1

liked by itsmegigi, georgerussell63. charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and others

amayamedina after two and a half years together with max, we decided to go separate paths, i will be forever grateful for the time we spent together 🩷

maxverstappen1 thank you for allowing me to be your partner, i will hold those memories close to my heart. wish you all the best 🧡

comments on this post have been restricted

june 10th, 2021

amayamedina

liked by itsmegigi, charles_leclerc, thstsanneg_, beabee and others

amayamedina birthday me with the people i love the most in the place im the happiest, thank you so much for being here with me and to celebrate my life with me, i will hold those memories close to my heart ❤️‍🩹 happy cancer season everyone ♋️🦀 | 📍 positano, italy

itsmegigi i love you and i love to spend your day with you, you're my best friend in the world and your happiness means a lot to me 💛

amayamedina you mean a lot to me! 💛

thstsanneg_ happy happy happy birthday my friend, you're the best, you deserve your friends with you today

amayamedina don't make me cry again 😭 i love you and im super grateful to have you in my life

beabee im crying again, i love you! it you and me (and gi, and annie) that's my whole world until the end

amayamedina my world is only whole when im with you, annie and gigi, i love you ❤️

charles_leclerc happy birthday, ames, you deserve all the best

amayamedina thank you charlie, thank you for being here 💖

charlottesiine it was amazing to celebrate with you, i hope you have a great year!

amayamedina it was amazing c! thank you for coming 💖

user13 don't you guys think that's strange that amaya and max broke up like 10 days ago and charles is celebrating her birthday with her?

user83 not at all, they seemed very friendly with each other and charlotte and her became very close

user89 people can't have friends anymore

madalenamedina_ happy birthday my beautiful girl, i still remember the day i found out that i was going to be a mom and the day i listened to your heart for the first time, i love you dearly and immeasurably ❤️❤️❤️

amayamedina thank you mom, i love you! you're the best mom i could have asked for and i want to be your daughter in every life after this one

user82 HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMAYA!!!

lewishamilton happy birthday, amaya! wishing yoi all the best 🙏🏻

amayamedina thank you, lewis! 💖

june 30th, 2021

maxverstappen1

liked by redbullracing, f1, pierregasly and others

maxverstappen1 🏆😄

redbullracing our world champ!

kellypiquet ❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo congrats mate

landonorris 💥💥

user92 goat

user193 i mean congrats i guess

user82 the fia is now giving world championships like it's candy lol

user95 it was supposed to be amaya with him 😭😭

user33 move on they broke up hes happy with kelly

december 16th, 2021

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, f1, redbullracing and others

maxverstappen1 after 2 years together, kelly and i decided to go different ways, i ask you, please, for privacy during this moment and respect to her and her personal life.

november 17th, 2023

comments on this post have been restricted

amayamedina just added a story

november 23rd, 2023

maxverstappen1 has answered this story

maxverstappen1 can we talk? it's been a while

amayamedina i don't know if i still had anything to talk to you

maxverstappen1 kelly and i we broke up

amayamedina im sorry

maxverstappen1 no you're not haha

amayamedina yeah im not lol but i guess a talk won't do harm so sure

maxverstappen1 can i pick you up?

amayamedina sure, give me 10min

[mcflymemes]

STAR WARS: EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 1983 film, adjust as necessary

i'll not leave you here. i've got to save you.

what i told you was true... from a certain point of view.

you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.

there is still good in him.

you may dispense with the pleasantries.

i'm here to put you back on schedule.

perhaps i can find new ways to motivate them.

we shall double our efforts.

don't talk that way.

you have a power i don't understand and could never have.

i know. somehow, i've always known.

he must be allowed to speak.

it's your choice, but i warn you not to underestimate my powers.

i shall enjoy watching you die.

good, i hate long waits.

doesn't sound so bad.

she was very beautiful. kind, but sad.

so you have accepted the truth?

that name no longer has any meaning for me.

you want this, don't you? the hate is swelling in you now.

it is unavoidable. it is your destiny.

how many languages do you speak?

you are unwise to lower your defenses.

all craft, prepare to retreat.

we've got to give him more time.

it's an older code, sir, but it checks out.

there may be more of them out there.

i have a really bad feeling about this.

it only takes one to sound the alarm.

you cannot escape your destiny.

i can't kill my own father.

why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?

i beg your pardon, but that just wouldn't be proper.

you were our only hope.

soon i'll be dead, and you with me.

your insight serves you well.

bury your feelings deep down, [name].

help me take this mask off.

i do believe they think i am some sort of god.

i can't see! what's going on?

i assure you, we are quite safe from your friends here.

i'm out of it for a little while, everyone gets delusions of grandeur.

if you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny.

just for once... let me look on you with my own eyes.

no, you're coming with me.

your overconfidence is your weakness.

you were right. you were right about me.

together again, huh?

i feel the good in you, the conflict.

there is no conflict.

you couldn't bring yourself to kill me before and i don't believe you'll destroy me now.

you've failed.

who are you?

you cannot hide forever.

i will not fight you.

it is the only way you can save your friends.

your thoughts betray you.

when he comes back, i won't get in the way.

it's not like that at all.

i can't do it. i can't go on alone.

i think my eyes are getting better.

there's nothing to see. i used to live here, you know.

how could they be jamming us if they don't know if we're coming.

break off the attack! the shield is still up!

take evasive action!

keep your distance, though, but don't look like you're trying to keep your distance.

i don't know. fly casual.

you can't do this. i feel the conflict within you. let go of your hate.

this is an unexpected pleasure.

you're going to die here, you know. convenient.

tell me. what's troubling you?

you're a jittery little thing, aren't you?

i just said you were a fair pilot!

i'm surprised they didn't ask you to do it.

[crossdressingdeath]

Thinking about it having taken some time away, a revenge plot like Karlach's was I think one of the worst possible choices for a BG3 companion quest even before we get into what a half-assed fake drama story it is (why isn't her quest finding a damn Wish scroll, Larian, that would actually be fun and wouldn't cut into Wyll's quest or demand the player choose her ending if they want her to live, there are multiple spells that could fix this and we're given exactly zero explanation for why we aren't even trying to get one, you even brought Wish into the plot as a non-standard game over and then didn't bring it up here when it would be an ideal solution), because it really brings the massive double standard the game's got going on into stark relief. It's most obvious in contrast with Astarion. Like, think about it: the Gur's desire for revenge against Astarion is every bit as justified as Karlach's desire for revenge against Gortash; actually it's more so, given they have a real (though faint) reason to hope that they can actually accomplish something outside of his death, namely getting their kids back. But giving him to the Gur kills him and costs you a companion; it's a failure as far as his character arc goes, and in fact happens so early on he doesn't really get a character arc. All of that potential development is cut short and you have to see his corpse in the ritual and it is in general treated as a bad thing. The much better way of handling the Gur situation is to talk to them in act 3 and drag Astarion into atoning for what he did by trying to deal with Cazador and rescue the kids. This is good! Blind revenge solves nothing, having people pay for what they did by atoning and having to help the people they hurt as best they can is a much better solution! We love to see it!

Now you'd think the equivalent to that would be to dissuade Karlach from her revenge and instead get Gortash to fix the heart (either with his knowledge of the tech involved or—my personal favourite—his power and influence being used to acquire the use of one of the spells that could repair it or replace it with a normal heart because again there's more than one of those and it's stupid that none of them are even brought up as potential solutions), but... nope! Revenge is only bad when those outsiders do it, when it's a companion it's the only real solution! Like, yeah, she's got that thing where she complains that it didn't help at all but... we knew killing Gortash wouldn't help from the start. I don't remember if Karlach herself ever brings it up, but it's hard to miss that killing Gortash will not solve anything Karlach's got going on. And if you don't kill him you don't even get that much acknowledgement that revenge isn't a great solution. And also that's the most basic revenge plot outline, "revenge feels empty" is so fucking common as an ending. But it's just a moment that makes it so clear that Larian wasn't really interested in exploring the themes of the cycle of abuse and how aggressors can also be victims and all that with... anyone except the companions (and even then not always; see their complete unwillingness to ever engage with pre-amnesia Durge as anything but a heartless, crazy murderer despite the game itself including plenty of implications that that wasn't the case). It makes it seem less like a discussion on the cycle of abuse and more like good old-fashioned protagonist-centric morality, where the bad things the heroes do are forgivable because they had a hard life but anyone who hurts them is irredeemable no matter how hard their lives were. And it could've been avoided so easily (in a way that also gave Karlach's quest a more satisfying ending) by having a better ending to her quest that focused less on revenge and more on restitution. But no, heaven forbid we be allowed to engage with the act 3 antagonists in any meaningful way outside of killing them or acknowledge that the main thing separating them from the less moral companions is that no one helped them...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting annoyed when my best friend interacts with my 1 year old?

Some background info real quick: my (28f) family (30m and 1m) is currently dealing with a lot of shit, so my best friend (27f), let's call her Mia, and her mom (~55f) opened their door to us - which I'm incredibly grateful for, and I'll never forget what they've done to help us during this insane time in our lives.

Down to the meat of the issue:

So Mia works with kids, but not in the usual way (i.e. daycare, teacher, nanny, etc) - she mainly tends to work with kiddos who are on the autism spectrum and isn't allowed to be very hands-on with them (as far as I understand from how she's explained it, I could be wrong).

My little one is the main kiddo she's around outside of work, and I don't know if maybe her workstyle is influencing her interactions with the little guy, but I've had to ask her to try to curb her behavior. And honestly, it's nothing bad, it's just little things that altogether irk me - I've had to ask Mia a couple of times to stop baby talking to him; to stop kissing him on the lips (which her mom also does, and now he's DEFINITELY picked up); to limit his screen time (when he runs to hang out with her, she'll immediately take her tablet and put on YT); and whenever he's trying new food and he doesn't like it, I usually make him try it again a few times, just to make sure - Mia will try to cut in after the first time and say it's ok for him to not like it because SHE doesn't like to eat a lot of veggies or fruits.

I think the kicker for it, is that whenever I ask Mia to curb her behavior, she asks for an explanation as to why she shouldn't do it, or remembers partway through that she's been asked not to do it and goes "sorry little dude, i would allow it but your mom says no" and then sighs.

I haven't said anything to her directly about it, because a) I'm not 💯 sure I'm not overreacting, and b) frankly, due to the situation we're in, idek if I can say anything - her family (which I consider my own, we've known each 17+ years) is doing us a kindness, so who am I to tell her how to behave in her own home?

TL;DR - my best friend interacts with my kiddo in ways I don't fully agree on and while they bother me, since they don't harm him in the long run, I don't know if I should say something or I'm just overreacting and should keep it to myself

What are these acronyms?

[girltalkcollectives]

🪞 Trying to love yourself in a world that profits from your self-doubt (and how i'm finally starting to win that battle) 🪞

Let's have an honest conversation about something I've been struggling with lately. You know those days when you're just scrolling through social media, feeling pretty good about yourself, and then BAM – suddenly you're wondering if you need that new miracle serum that promises to fix a "flaw" you didn't even know you had?

Yeah, we need to talk about that.

The Reality Check

At 20, I'm constantly bombarded with:

"Anti-aging" products (like… I'm literally TWENTY?)

Filters that completely change my face

Before/after photos that make me question everything

"Clean girl aesthetic" pressure

"That Girl" morning routines

Weight loss ads between every TikTok

"Body trending" conversations (because apparently bodies trend now???)

And honestly? I'm exhausted.

The Hidden Cost

Here's what this constant pressure actually costs us:

Mental energy we could use for literally anything else

Money we could be saving or investing

Confidence in our natural selves

Time we'll never get back

Real connections because we're too anxious about our appearance

The simple joy of existing without criticism

The Truth About "Perfect" Posts

Let's break down what we're usually seeing:

Perfect lighting

Strategic angles

Multiple takes

Careful editing

Specific poses

Curated moments

And sometimes? Straight-up lies

What Nobody Tells You About "Goals" Posts

That influencer with the "perfect morning routine"?

She took 67 takes of that "just woke up" shot

That's not her everyday breakfast

She's not actually that productive every single day

Those workout clips are from different days

The "no makeup" look has makeup

She probably felt anxious posting it too

My Personal Journey

Recently, I started documenting my actual, unfiltered self:

My actual skin texture

Real morning hair

Genuine facial expressions

Normal body positions

Regular daily outfits

Real-life messy moments

And something magical happened: nothing. The world didn't end. People didn't run away screaming. Life just… continued.

The Small Wins

I'm celebrating these victories:

Posting pictures without filters

Wearing what feels comfortable

Going out without makeup sometimes

Unfollowing accounts that make me feel bad

Actually believing compliments

Calling out beauty standards with friends

What's Actually Helping

Here's what's making a real difference:

Curating my social media: Unfollowing anything that triggers comparison

Finding real role models: Following people who look like me and rock it

Reality checks with friends: Honest conversations about our insecurities

Gratitude practice: Focusing on what my body does, not how it looks

Setting boundaries: It's okay to skip conversations about diets/appearance

The Mindset Shifts

I'm learning that:

Beauty standards are made up and literally change every decade

Companies profit from our insecurities

"Perfect" doesn't exist

Confidence is more attractive than any physical feature

My worth isn't tied to my appearance

It's okay to be a work in progress

To Anyone Struggling

Remember:

You don't owe anyone prettiness

Your body is not a trend

You're allowed to take up space

Your worth isn't measured in likes

Beauty standards are fake

You're enough, right now, as you are

Moving Forward

Here's what I'm committing to:

Being honest about my struggles

Sharing unfiltered moments

Supporting other women

Calling out toxic beauty standards

Celebrating all types of beauty

Working on loving myself as I am

The Revolution Starts With Us

Maybe the most rebellious thing we can do is just… exist. Unapologetically. Without shrinking or filtering or constantly apologizing.

[intheholler]

Do you have any traits that you think are vital/you’d like to see more of in Appalachian characters?

I’m writing a fantasy story (that I dream of making into an animated film) whose main character is an Appalachian-coded werewolf woman. I’ve been working on her story for a while, and while she was always from Appalachia in my head, she wasn’t Appalachian until I started following you, not really. I want to make sure I’m capturing the beautiful spirit of Appalachian folks with her and the people around her. She’s selfless to the point of personal damage, deeply, deeply compassionate, and smart as a whip. She’s also a little ruthless and morally utilitarian, which means she does some bad things, but her whole thing is that she always acknowledges that the people she hurts are people who don’t deserve it.

Apologies if this is like, weird, I just want to thank you for helping me flesh out a character who is so near and dear to my heart. Hope you have a nice day!

hi, this absolutely is not weird. actually it kinda made me wanna cry (in a good way).

it's been a busy morning & afternoon and i am drained so i'm worried i won't give this the right response bc brain is currently hamster on wheel.

first...

"...while she was always from Appalachia in my head, she wasn’t Appalachian until I started following you, not really."

i felt really warm reading that. like wow?? that i could be that much of a positive influence on perceptions my home or like that i could make that kind of impact just by talking about my experiences, those of which i used to be so ashamed of..

ok actually yeah got misty typing that. lol. aaaa okay.

to the point of your question-i would like to see more of acceptance as a trait.

people always equate us with hate and intolerance, but that has not been my exclusive experience. yes there are queerphobic racists here, clearly i do not downplay that here on this blog.

but there are queerphobic racists everywhere. everyone acts like they are all solely concentrated in appalachia/the southeast, and that that's the only kind of people we are allowed to be. incorrect!

im not saying we're innocent obviously. growing up we were constantly checking each other's casual racism and prejudices.

but like, that's the thing. most of us didn't/don't wanna be the way we was raised. we didn't actually feel that way. we were just taught that we should, and deep in the hollers all you find are echo chambers.

we are a very "you tend to your business and ill tend to mine" kind of people. we don't wanna bother nobody and we don't wanna be bothered.

so, characters who keep each other in check when something ugly slips, or a character who might have to originally confront bias/prejudice when meeting new people, but who does so quickly and lends aid without question, would be pretty realistic.

and honestly really fucking refreshing lol

[sapphic-agent]

There's one thing I wanna ask Hori about the narrative that I'm surprised isn't talked about more.

Why weren't any of the characters allowed to question their society and heroes function as a whole?

Because when kids start off with hating heroes (Kota and those brats from the second movie), they're treated to be in the wrong and has to see how great heroes can be.

Which given the context that this is a society that turns a blind eye to it's corruption and how the minority suffers, it just comes across as putting rose tinted glasses on them to keep them away from the truly bad stuff.

Like, I get it with Kota, because his hatred of heroes stems from watching his parents die and believing they chose work over him, and that this hatred could grow into a problem later to where he might end up as a villain.

But at the same time, how come this didn't let Izuku to think about the society that shunned and berated him for being born different from everyone? How come no one else stop and think that this society is on the path to collapsing on itself if nothing is done?

In a story like this, characters should be allowed to question things around them and wonder if there's anything they can do make it more bearable for others, to seek out the change they wanna see so others wouldn't have to suffer like they did.

Kota is a great example, but I raise you Stain and the LOV.

Stain made sense. He went about it in entirely the wrong way, but he was right about false heroes and how much of a problem they were. But he's a murderous psychopath so we're supposed to take his words as out of touch rambling because he attacked Ingenium who was one of the good heroes.

(We're also given no proof. He says heroes are corrupt but we aren't shown why he thinks that and we don't see it beyond Endeavor. Even more reason not to take what he's saying seriously)

Hori could have really sold this by making Tensei perhaps not so virtuous. Maybe he had or started with good intentions but ended up contributing to toxic hero society in some way and Iida was blind to it because he was the big brother he admired. That would have made Tenya's character development hit harder in my opinion. Having Tensei confess this to Tenya would have made the Stain arc even better.

Which brings us to the LOV.

I feel like Hori forgot that Dabi and Toga also joined the LOV because of Stain, not just Spinner. They, on some level, absorbed his words and wanted what he did even if they were also fueled by other motives.

That's why a lot of Dabi's later character doesn't make a whole lot of sense. For those who knew he was Touya, it was implied that he was abused similarly to Shoto and was angry at Endeavor's treatment of his children. And then was inspired by Stain to call out his father as a false hero and take down the system that (indirectly) destroyed his family.

But no, he wants to kill Shoto, doesn't give a shit about Rei or Fuyumi, and almost got Natsu (the brother he was close to and presumably cared about) killed. And all to get back at Endeavor and make him suffer. Dabi's motives were a major let down and it reduces him to a one-dimensional villain, one who only wants to hurt people for the sake of hurting them. There's no hint of the influence Stain apparently had on him.

Toga is the same. She, presumably, admired Stain because of the similarities in their quirks. It's implied she joined the LOV to be with people like her (which is why she- as Camie- asks Izuku what kind of hero he wants to be, she's trying to see if he's one of those people). Who were outcasts and wanted to be able to do what they wanted with no persecution from others. She wanted to be free, even if she had a warped perception about what that meant. But over time, Horikoshi made her a creepy, predatory yandere type (seriously, what the fuck was the point of having her grope Uraraka??) with no depth to her actions.

Both Dabi and Toga never mention Stain or his ideals again. They're just psychopaths who need to be stopped. It dehumanizes them and uses mental illness for further antagonize them.

Spinner is the only one who still attempts to embody Stain's ideals. But of course, he never gets any focus. He's a "coward" who never stands up the the LOV (except when he stopped Magne from killing Izuku) even though he feels guilty about what they do. So most of the time, he isn't portrayed in a way that makes us stop and think. It's all too easy for the audience to dismiss or forget about him.

Anyone who (rightfully) questions or criticizes or openly despises the corrupt society in this universe is portrayed in a negative light. Even if what they're saying is technically right, we throw it away because they're doing something bad.

Really, there's only one character who's the exception. I'm, of course, talking about Lady Nagant.

Listen, me and Hori got beef all day everyday. BUT Nagant is one of the most exceptional characters I've ever seen in anime.

What I love about her is that she's someone who genuinely started out with good intentions and wanted to do the right thing but was torn down by society. It destroyed her from the inside out. The actions she took aren't even that extreme, they make sense considering everything she went through. Her problems with society aren't inane or hypocritical ramblings, she's 100% correct in her assessments because she was an unwilling participant in the corruption.

The problem with Nagant, however, is that she's with us for such a short amount of time that we don't get to take a deep dive here. We don't get to dissect why, exactly, society is so corrupt or find a solution to it.

It sucks because Hori was SO CLOSE to hitting the mark with Nagant. I think introducing her- or someone similar to her (missed opportunity with Hawks)- a lot sooner would have really improved the story

[thedawningofthehour]

Yeah. About the Githel and comparing the two to an extent. My thing was about the lie and having to keep a secret from a child. But Yeah. Draxum is a lot better to Gale than Gothel was to Rapunzel. I know that Draxum cares about Gale a lot and the vine thing I think was being overprotective and not wanting to find out the secret. But he did feel bad by the next few scenes. And apologized. I just don't know how he deals with realizing he chained down essentially his own son. I don't think it’s well?

Alright, I'm going to use this to sort of air my feelings on Mother Gothel and how it influences doth. You're absolutely fine, you didn't annoy me or anything, I just have...kind of a lot of thoughts about it? Shit's complicated. (Also please actually read the whole thing through before you start getting mad because I promise I am not making the point you think I am)

One of the things that really bugs me when talking about Tangled is the insistence that Gothel didn't love Rapunzel. People do this a lot, claim an abuser can't 'really' love their victim if they're abusing them.

Which to me is a very dangerous line of thinking because it implies that the opposite is equally true, that someone can't be an abuser because they love the person they're abusing. And that can lead to people staying in abusive relationships, because their partner/family member/friend does love them. Yeah, they might. But not enough. Not how you deserve.

Let's start with who Rapunzel is in the scene we're properly introduced to her, on the eve of her eighteenth birthday. Rapunzel is intelligent, literate and knowledgeable of math and astronomy and highly skilled in a number of crafts. She's never met anyone else in her life, so obviously Gothel educated her. There was no reason for Gothel to do this. If anything, educating Rapunzel gave her the tools to question her mother and the stories she'd been told, as she later does. Gothel still taught her to read, still bought her books and a guitar and craft supplies, still celebrated birthdays and got her presents. This establishes right from the start that Gothel is willing to go out of her way for Rapunzel's happiness, even when there's no benefit for her.

Little examples of this are sprinkled throughout the story. Agreeing to go get the paints Rapunzel wants is a major one-Gothel had already won the argument, she had Rapunzel feeling responsible and guilty for their fight and there was no need for lovebombing. She outright states it's a long trip for the paints, she's established that Rapunzel fucked up and possibly isn't deserving of a birthday gift-but she doesn't use that. She picks up and goes to get her daughter the one nice thing she wants for her birthday. For no reason other than Rapunzel asked for it. Even at the end of the movie, the thing Rapunzel offers to Gothel to allow her to heal Eugene is their relationship back. Gothel kept the royal army from finding Rapunzel for nearly two decades; she's smart enough to keep Rapunzel imprisoned until her will was broken. She doesn't need Rapunzel's cooperation. She wants Rapunzel back as her daughter.

And please do not think I am using any of this to make excuses for Gothel or saying she's actually a good person, because I very much am not. This circles back to Mikey's comment in the latest chapter, how Draxum's love for Donnie should have changed him. Because if Gothel truly loved Rapunzel with everything a mother loves her child, then that should have changed her too. She should have been greatly conflicted on allowing Rapunzel out to see the lights, her fear and possessiveness over Rapunzel battling with the knowledge that Rapunzel is lonely, socially stunted, that she's missing out on all the experiences she deserves to have out there in the world. She should feel guilty for her decision to keep Rapunzel entirely hidden away, maybe not to the point of actually changing her mind but it should have caused her some anguish. She should want these things for Rapunzel, for her to be able to have friends and study and become a professional artist, even if she knows that it could realistically never happen. She should have thought, at least once in those eighteen years, that she should tell Rapunzel the truth.

She never does. She never doubts what she's doing for a moment, even when it hurts Rapunzel. Because even though some part of her does love Rapunzel, Gothel loves her youth more.

That's the trap with abusers who love you. It's not that they can't love you if they're abusing you, it's that if they're abusing you, they love something else more. Maybe that something else is the feeling of power and control they get by abusing you. Maybe it's their own comfort that they love more, their unwillingness to critically examine themselves and seek help and ultimately change their behavior. Whatever it is, they are putting it before their love for you, and it's overriding everything that love is telling them to do. Gothel loved Rapunzel. But she was so much more in love with herself that she was wholly incapable of even considering Rapunzel's needs before her wants.

So now we get back to Draxum, and ask the question of if Draxum would do the same. And that's impossible to answer because for Draxum, his love for Galois and the reason he kidnapped Donnie are so wholly intertwined.

Like, I suppose you could make the argument that the King and Queen of Corona wouldn't truly understand what the power of the sundrop flower meant and what would be necessary to protect Rapunzel, that showing her off as princess and eventual queen would be advertising her power and putting a giant target on her back, (I mean, people would definitely realize something was up with the immortal queen whose court was never ill and seemed to recover from serious injuries overnight) but let's be real-if Gothel's priority was keeping Rapunzel safe, she could have just shown up and offered to work with the King and Queen and their guard to assure the princess's safety. Not to mention Gothel's original plan was just to take a lock of hair and leave Rapunzel with her parents. But this doesn't extend to the situation in doth. Draxum is 100%, wholly convinced that the Yokai will be entirely wiped out in a few decades. A century at most. He truly believes that if he hadn't kidnapped Donnie, then Donnie would have died young. He would have lived a miserable life in hiding, facing persecution and taunted with the things he couldn't have purely because of what he is, and then would have died violently and possibly painfully at barely a fraction of his natural lifespan. And then he'd be forgotten, except as one of the 'mutant monsters' that humanity cleansed, who he was and what he could have accomplished erased.

Sure, he didn't love Donnie when he kidnapped him. But he loves Galois now. And his love might drive his guilt, his self-hatred and conflicted feelings on what to allow him and tell him, but it can never drive his doubt. Draxum cannot doubt what he's doing for one moment, because what he's doing needs to be done if Galois is going to have the life he deserves. If he stepped back, told Galois the truth and allowed him to return home-that's it, he needed Donnie's big brain for all this, he ran projections to make sure he really had to do this and there was literally no way he could accomplish what he needed to do without Donnie. His revolution will fail, the humans and the Council of Heads will rush in, there's a very good chance Galois would lose his head right alongside Draxum-and even if not, the humans would kill him soon anyway. Gothel's love for youth and beauty completely overtook her love for Rapunzel, to the point that it effectively didn't matter because she would never hesitate to choose herself. Draxum's desire to conquer the surface and his love for Galois are at a head, and his love cannot win because every bit of love he has for his son drives up the opposing score. He could never choose one or the other because he could never choose anything that stood opposite of his love for his son, but it's because he loves his son that he's still doing this.

Would that be different in a world where the safety and liberty of Yokai and mutants is assured? In a world where Draxum has already succeeded and no longer needs Galois, but wants to remain his father? Is Draxum's position and legacy worth keeping from Galois the truth he so rightfully deserves to know? Would his desire to maintain what he has with his son overrule his desire for his son to be happy, even if that happiness comes at the expense of Draxum's?

Well. That's something Draxum thinks about every night.

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s3e7 live episode reaction

oh my god

these bitches horny. good for them. good for them

tara's so pretty :(

NOT NICK WANTING TO POUNCE ON CHARLIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RUGBY FIELD

"why are you looking at me like that" he wants to redacted your redacted and redacted you redacted with redacted and redacted for redacted

like let's keep up charlie boy you know what we're getting at

lets_get_it_on.mp3

NICKTARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

lesbian and bisexual himbo supremacy. we got adora and bow, we got tara and nick.... who else do we need

they can afford durex condoms for sex ed??? is truham like a fancy private school or what

"ughhhh so slimy" SAME TAO AKDLDJDLDKD

I only use condoms to cover up ultrasound probes tho but every time I touch one I'm like D: idk how people with dicks do it

harry is so disgusting lmao

"I could tell she really wanted it" you wouldn't know what a woman wants if she spelled it out for you my brother in christ

the std images akfjdkfkdkf who among us wasn't traumatized by std pictures (which is fun bc now I work with stds all the time and it's not that bad)

CHLAMYDIA = BAD JAKDJDKFJDKFJFKFJFDKGUFIFDOGIDIFIDO

oh elle baby

NOT FUCKIN DAVID

WHY'S THIS BITCH HERE

they're so flustered oh my god

the texts :(

OH TARA AND DARCY

oh okay that was...... that sure was something huh

oh my fucking god

bro nick is so fuckin cute

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

worse than mr farouk nominating charlie is mr farouk AND mr ajayi teaming up to nominate charlie???? that was SO cute wtf

I'm so glad elle has naomi and felix :(

ARE YOU TRYING TO PEEK? IT'S ALLOWED WE'RE IN LOVE

i might genuinely die

MICHAEL

bro I see michael and my entire world lights up i love him *so* much I truly think he's my favorite osemanverse character

"my advice is to sneak out" "my advice is that you don't need a sleepover for the activity in question" lmao they're horrible influences both of them

I HOPE YOU GET TO HAVE YOUR SEX SLEEPOVER DOFLDGJDLFJDLFK

MICHAEL HOLDEN YOU ARE THE *LOVE* OF MY *LIFE*

"michael, can you stop talking about my brother having sex?" "sorry 😬" god I love him so much

not everybody being this invested in getting nick and charlie to have sex skfjslfjslfjdl

YOU HAD SEX AT SCHOOL?!?!!??!?!

he's SO SCANDALIZED JSKFJSKFJSKFJDKF

"and also we have a history of getting walked in on" RIGHT? like they better get a hotel room or something, my god

bro I will literally tattoo every nicktara scene on my tits they're SO beautiful

YES TARA VALIDATE HIS EMOTIONS

"oh, nick, I'm not really the person to ask about sex between guys" "....yeah, fair enough" I LOVE THEM /SO/ MUCH UBDJFKDJFLDKFLDKF

NONBINARY DARCYYYYYYYYYYY

oh man im so fucking overwhelmed. this season's got me overwhelmed.

tori going "we all love nick" like :( best in laws :(

tbf I still think charlie went about it in the wrong way, like jane isn't even *wrong* about the exams thing but also he's 16 and horny so like...

um. okay. so that was the most over the top romantic thing in the PLANET what the FUCK tao can you be normal??? can you not raise the bar so high????????

oh is it really a heartstopper season if nick isn't looking at pictures of charlie and feeling Things?

oh he sure is Feeling Things huh

NO NICK NOT THOSE THINGS

oh thank god charlie is here

oh hold on

pause

charlie is here

I know what happens here

oh my god I'm not prepared

bro

no

oh my god

oh my god no I'm not prepareeeedddddd

yeah well if they're ready I have to be ready

"you give me so much confidence" he really does :( and it makes me so sad like nick baby you're a wonderful person :(

"I can't talk to anyone else like I talk to you" GODDDDDDD

"basically I'm freaking out" oh he's so right so am I

"I think we're both a bit of a mess" AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE A MESS AM I RIGHT

THE MUSIC IS INTENSIFYING

that's more @ me cause I'm not fuckin calm

"char, this is literally the only thing I've been able to think about" SCREAMS AND CRIES

THERE'S SO MUCH ELECTRICITY

OH HE FLIPPED HIM

OH M TGOD

DYA WANT MINE OFF? YEAH

[to the tune of hot to go] W H O R E S YOU ARE CURRENTLY HAVING SEX

THE H AND GOLD

THE? BUTTON?????

WHY ARE YOU UNDER THE XOVERS

WHERE'S THAT HAND GOING

IM

BROOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh yohd

oh my god I can't believe they done did it

oh my god I love this show *so much*

bro I love nick and charlie so much?

[demodraws0606]

Levi's hidden quote and how it could link with his possible motive for killing Arei

I gotta apologize to Levi for being so hellbent on believing he is the Chapter 2 killer but it just works way too well.

However of course a lot of things going against it is why would Levi do something like that or even kill her in such a gruesome way.

Now I believe the motive behind the murder is actually linked with Levi's hidden quote

I mean considering how vague this quote is and what Levi's secret most likely is it could be directed towards the person he killed but I don't think that fits the bill quite well.

In fact this quote makes a lot more sense in the context of Levi killing Arei.

It's pretty obvious Levi and Arei both had each other's secrets meaning Levi knew about what Arei did to her sister and as far as we know he doesn't know the context this secret has unlike us.

Now Levi despite being disowned clearly cared about his family to the point where he is not mad at them for disowning him.

It's possible that the murder he even commited was to protect his family or for them. Which would explain the line "we were all bad influences on one another". Levi is also known to be a protector, which again makes sense with the idea that maybe he was overprotective of his family and ended up killing someone for it.

Putting that aside, we should understand why Levi would have a negative reaction to Arei's secret without his understanding of why she did it.

It's not helped by the fact Arei acted incredibly unpleasant to everyone around her and he was actively told that she wasn't to be trusted.

From Levi's point of view, Arei clearly is someone manipulative and who sheds fake tears. Why would he believe that she had actually a good reason for what she did to her sisters ?

Not to mention that Levi in this chapter clearly is having an entire arc during the second chapter about him wanting to be forgiven by Ace. However the conclusion of this arc before the trial leads to Levi completely giving up on trying to redeem himself.

(I'd argue this moment specifically is when Levi finally becomes capable of committing murder)

In my eyes his murder of Arei was a crime of passion, and although the way the murder is presented contradicts this we also have the possibility of someone (*cough* DaVid *cough*) tempering with the crime scene but that's another theory for another time (or tbh Levi himself could've tempered with it).

It's possible Arei and Levi confronted each other about their secrets, leading to him killing her by breaking her neck.

Maybe he wasn't believing her explanation or trusting the she actually became a better person.

Why would she be allowed to apologize and make everything better when he tried that so many times and was only met with rejection.

And that's what the secret quote means, he only judged Arei based on her actions because he was told time and time again that words weren't enough. That apologizing and saying that you'll change means nothing.

All of this leads me to believe that this chapter is about : redemption and trust

Arei wanted to improve and grow as a person, she wanted to finally become someone who could be kind to others.

She hurt Eden badly, blaming her for everything because she couldn't fathom the fact that someone like her could even exist. The way she talked to Eden was horrible, but she regrets it and clearly wanting to undo the wrong she did to her.

Eden despite her doubts, clearly believes her considering her strong reaction towards the idea that she could've even though of killing herself. Arei's apology went through Eden.

Now, what character has tried to do the same but constantly failed ?

Levi

He snapped and said something horrible to Ace, something he regrets just like Arei. He wants to apologize and redeem himself for it but he isn't allowed to. Unlike Eden, Ace isn't willing to accept it.

He is taught that trying to say sorry or saying you'll change won't do anything.

And now we're back to his secret quote

His justification for killing Arei was that he didn't believe she was worthy of redemption or simply didn't believe she was going to redeem herself in the first place. After all, all of her actions lead to her being a truly dispicable person so why would he suddenly believe that she wants to redeem herself, especially someone like Arei ?

However in this quote it's stated that he aknowledges that it's just a poor excuse, a poor excuse for his heartlessness, for having killed Arei.

Now the one thing contradicting this analysis is the use of the word "always" meaning that it's a belief Levi always had so why did him getting rejected suddenly lead to him to believe that Arei's apology wasn't enough ? Well either way I don't think weither it was a belief he always had or was something he was taught through chapter 2 really disproves my thoughts on him killing Arei but it's possible his belief was amplified or "triggered" by what happened in chapter 2.

Either way yeah, I'm sorry Levi, you will not escape the guilty verdict in my mind, it just fits way too much thematically.

[gamebird]

What the hell is it with these people?

Two incidents, same trend/logic and reaction in the other person.

My boyfriend is talking. He says that he is very concerned Trump is going to run for office and win. I agree, this is concerning. He says CO decided Trump couldn't be on the ballot due to the 14th Amendment. I agree I have heard this news and that it is good news. He says that MI decided differently. I agree I have heard this news and that it is bad news. He says it is not possible for Trump to run for re-election and he doesn't know what MI is doing. I say, basically, that the MI judges are interpreting the law. He says there is no interpretation involved. The 14th Amendment forbids running by those who participate in an insurrection and Trump participated in an insurrection. I tell him, 'But that is an interpretation'. He gets angry and says it is not an interpretation, that is what the 14th Amendment says. I say 'no, whether Trump participated. Maybe the MI judges say he just showed up, gave a speech, and then left, and the insurrection happened later and he had nothing to do with it. I disagree, but they could interpret the situation as happening that way.' He gets angry further, that this is invalid, the judges can't decide that, it's not an interpretation. Then he falls silent for a while. Then he says he doesn't want to argue with me. I ... didn't think we were arguing? I say such. He says that no, there are laws and judges can't just decide not to follow them. I say that it really doesn't matter what the laws are, it's who interprets them and what interpretation they want, that's what they'll decide. He says he doesn't want to talk about it. Mutters something about arguing.

A neighbor is talking to me about the HOA. We have a shitty HOA board right now who has brought a lawsuit against a house and done a number of things they aren't legally allowed to do. The neighbor says we must vote out that board and replace it. I agree. She does not want me to run for the board, because I want to abolish the board altogether. I tell her that as long as the HOA exists, it can be used against members. The only way to prevent that is to get rid of it. She says that no, we only need to get rid of the bad people. I say that if she knows that bad people can get in control and do shitty illegal things, then there's nothing to keep that from happening again unless we get rid of the HOA altogether. She tells me that she feels like I'm attacking her and that I need to learn to use softer words. I don't think I'm getting her vote.

It's just weird. I don't think I'm being argumentative or aggressive. I'm pointing out in both cases that you guys can stand there and go on about what's 'right' or 'legal', but it doesn't matter. What matters is that there is a system in place that allows someone to do this thing you're complaining about, and if you can't influence that system (because it's Michigan and we're in Oklahoma; or because you won't vote out the bad board members for fear that someone might be elected who will get rid of the system), then you are going to be subject to the effects of that system.

I'm not saying it's right. It's just how it is.

Eh, anyway, maybe they'll elect me and maybe they won't. Maybe they'll elect Trump and maybe they won't. All I got is my vote.

[creatively-cosmic]

Hi Starry, I’m back! :D

I’m glad you like the questions and that they aren’t annoying, because every bit of lore I read is like a taking a shot of dopamine lmao. And that picture of Fire getting a hug 🥹 brightened up my whole day. Trust me when I say that you guys reposting pictures and adding content to older ones isn’t obnoxious in the slightest. The art (at least for me) makes it easier to digest and form connections about the story in my head, plus y’alls art is great—who wouldn’t want to look at it? The lore/art in the last one was particularly interesting. (Like, young Red looks like such an polite, upstanding citizen and then you scroll down two pages and now it’s like “Tf you lookin crazy for”? Was that an implication that Steven had something to do with Red going missing/becoming Glitchy? And Leaf is funking DEAD?-)

Anyways, you know what that means! Question time: Leaf Edition!

The First (and most obvious) question: What happened to Leaf? Why is the homegirl dead? (Why was Leaf being dead, out of all the things I’ve seen so far, the one thing I wasn’t expecting?)

Second: What’s the relationship between Leaf, Fire and Blue? You said that Blue and Fire’s murder-suicide loop was spurred on by her death, so were they friends before she died? Did they see it?

And two smaller questions: How tall are the main four (Red, Blue, Fire, Leaf)? And do they have Pokémon Teams? If so, what are their teams looking like?

That’s all till next time! Have a good day/afternoon/night wherever you are!

TUMBLR FUCKING CRASHED HALFWAY THROUGH ANSWERING THIS ASK IM SO MAD FUCK. FUCKKK

We honestly can't thank you enough for all your questions, compliments, and just overall being a huge sweetheart. We're really happy you've been enjoying these, and whatever dopamine you get from seeing these, we probably get like. TENFOLD, just for seeing someone so interested, and giving us a chance to talk about this wild ride of a story. So really- thank you. This has been a delight!

This one is gonna be REALLY long (I have to rewrite fucking HALF OF IT now DAMMIT), as we want to talk on the stuff you crossed out, too.

(I'll put their heights and teams in a follow-up post btw, so watch for that.)

1. Red.

Young Red is an interesting point in time. See, he and Blue had a LOT in common- a lot more than you might think. Of course, Red was a good kid, genuinely- always so caring for his Pokemon, kind and passionate about them. He was polite to the people around him, and always soft spoken, when or if he spoke at all. The adults around Kanto and his hometown always adored him for how well mannered he seemed- a real role model, and stand up child. Just a bit shy.

In all truth though, Red moreso had a very strong mask. One that he only dropped, allowing himself to relax and act like himself around one person: his best friend, Blue.

Both of those boys were a lot more immature and competitive with each other- the main difference being Blue didn't hide it like Red did. They LOVED competing, always trying to one up each other in everything they did. When they were together, Red wasn't afraid to speak his mind, signing or whispering to his friend with a smug grin on his face. Around his friend, Red could really be himself, and they both loved it. Having so much fun, roughhousing and taking jabs and just being children around each other. A lot of people, when seeing this, would assume Blue- who was always rude and a bit more standoffish- was a bad influence, but really, the two couldn't be happier than they were with each other.

... When you spend God knows how long, trapped in a dimension with no human life, desperate and angry with unholy forces eating away at your mind, will, and sanity. Let's just say masking doesn't end up staying a necessary skill. A good portion of why Red being Like That now is honestly? Just because he just gave up on trying to make himself presentable.

He has bigger problems now than worrying about how people see him, anyways.

2. Steven.

I'll try to keep this short, as the Strangled Red elements of this story could warrant it's own post entirely.

To put it simply: Steven is, in part, directly responsible for Red's fate.

It wasn't HIS decision, mind you. He barely even thinks for himself anymore. But there were things that wanted Red, and Steven is very suggestible when it takes the right approach. So it lays itself out so simply.

Red trusted Steven, after all. Idolized him. Missed him. Would follow him anywhere. What better possible option could there be?

Of course Steven is the one to drown that boy on the coast of Cinnabar.

3. Leaf. (cw for animal death.)

Finally, the star of the show for this ask (as if this isn't long enough already). I can see why the information for her is more supriding as we haven't posted as much for her, which. We do feel bad about- our ability and motivation to make art for her was severely hindered by our struggle (I'm talking MONTHS) to make a design for her that we were happy with. Her story is WELL figured out, though, so we're glos we get to discuss! And now that her design is actually finalized, there should be more visual stuff for her coming.

So what happened?

Well! As is the entire premise of Missing Numbers, each major individual is based off of various Pokepastas. The easiest way to answer that is one of two of Leaf's sources:

Abandoned Loneliness.

But first, we have to go further back.

Fire was not the only Vessel made by the Almighty.

... He was the first, and the favorite. But he wasn't the only one. Leaf was the other.

Once Fire had come to Palette town, the next Game was set to begin any time now. But as the Almighty looked down on the world, He looked back at the others that had been built, and realized that the new Kanto was missing something. An alternative option. Though He was reluctant to change the structure of the world, it was, by all means, an improvement, and something the Players would expect after the past Generations.

She was less meticulously made than her brother. She kept her Heart and Mind about her, as there wasn't time, nor was it safe, to rid her of them like Fire. She would serve well enough as a Vessel regardless- and she did, as when the Game began, Leaf was chosen as the player's Avatar. (Not quite what the Almighty had expected, but the choice had been given for a reason, so it would be foolish to change anything now...)

Blissfully unaware of the nature of her existence, Leaf proceeded to go on a triumphant adventure through Kanto.

This is a good time, before we get back to the tragedy, to answer your second question!

Leaf, Blue, and Fire's dynamic changed throughout their journey through Kanto. At the beginning, let's just say things were... Tense.

Fire acted hollow, in the beginning, as he was meant to. Genuinely, it was fully expected that he'd be chosen as the players Avatar. So without it, he was left... Quiet and cold. It seemed he didn't care for anyone- not Blue, nor his sister.

Blue, meanwhile, was NOT in a good headspace. But at this point, after about two years passed since Red's dissapearance, he'd learned to hide those feelings. The people of Palette town, including his Rivals, knew him as this bitter, irritable person, resentful towards the world for incomprehensible reasons.

Leaf was the only "normal" one, basically. A cheerful, excited girl, whose heart bled for everyone she cared about and always tried to stand for the right thing. She didn't know where she came from... She had no memories of her life before "Red" and Hazel (Fire's mother) Yuuji found her, seemingly abandoned in the tall grass just outside of Palette Town, under the falling autumn leaves. Taken in as a part of their family, she grew attracted quickly, her loyalty and love and impulsive need to protect coming to be what she was known for.

With all this given, when the journey started. Leaf HATED Blue- he seemed to despise and bully her brother more than anyone. Blue didn't like Leaf much either, but wasn't as harsh towards her as he was Fire. Fire was as... Neutral as ever. But he silently followed the two once they went out, almost as if he wanted to watch over them. Ensure their safety.

As the journey continued, over time, away from the stuffiness of their hometown, the three started to grow closer. Maybe the fresh air was doing Blue good. Maybe Leaf was learning more about the world. Maybe Fire's deep brown eyes were growing warmer.

Somehow, a death was the tipping point for all of them to finally become friends. It's absurd, how grief was the thing driving them apart, but ultimately went to bring them together.

When Blue's Raticate died, he quickly fell back to his lowest point. Angry and hateful and heartbroken, lashing out, and ultimately running away. ... But it put everything in perspective. Through all her guilt (it was in a fight against her, after all, that the Raticate had been so severely injured), Leaf suddenly understood why Blue had been so horrible before: he was mourning. And he needed someone. It didn't make her forgive him, but it made her extend a hand.

And for once, knelt over the grave of a lost Pokemon, Blue accepted it. From that act of kindness, Blue genuinely began to get along with the others, and slowly, the trio came to be friends- all the way up to and after the Championship, where despite losing again, Blue felt closer to the others than ever.

... It seems in this world, good things don't last.

The events of Abandoned Loneliness happened several months after Leaf became champion. When revisiting Raticate's grave with Blue, Leaf came across a peculiar Pokemon- a horribly sickly little Eevee, too weak to even cry. Leaf had never been the kind to leave a Pokemon in need to fend for itself- kindly, she took the little stray into her care, determined to nurse it back to health.

The properties of Glitched or Corrupted Pokemon aren't something I need to dive into right now this is already ungodly long. What's important is that the Eevee was not a natural Pokemon. It should've been dead.

It always starts with a Pokemon that should've been dead.

Let's just say... Everything unraveled from there. Fully explaining what the events of Abandoned Loneliness translates to in Missing Numbers isn't something I have the energy to write at the moment (this is so long and I've been putting off finishing it cause I'm still mad all my initial writing got deleted >_<).

The important part comes down to Leaf's demise at the hands of this "curse." Bonded to that sickly little Eevee, when the world pushed her to put it out of its misery- voices of the damned screaming, unbearable, suffocating, demanding she DO IT DO IT DO IT, you can't bear to watch it suffer anymore, after all... The destiny bond it held her in dragged her down with it.

Nobody witnessed her death. She was alone and isolated at the foot of a mountain. She thought she could solve everything herself. Thought she could handle it all.

Her body was only found days later, curled up on the ground, rotting blood seeping from her eyes, with the body of the poor little Eevee in her arms. Trapped and suffocated by the hands that killed it. It was far too late. To maje it worse, her friends were the first to know of her death.

Fire was the one who found her body, after all.

Leaf's demise was a SEVERE breaking point, and unlike Fire, she didn't get a chance to be revived by God. Her modern presence in the world was not... Authorized, let's just say. Leaf had to claw and fight to keep hold of herself and climb back to existence in ways unprecedented, and believed to be impossible. But despite being a corrupted entity, her body was stable. And so, rather than Smite her as he would other Glitches, the Almighty decided to make good of an unintended situation: He could make use of her. A man on the inside is a powerful tool, after all.

So long as He kept her anger for her fate targeted towards the "true" threats.

I could keep going but I've babbled on way too much already for this post lol. I'm so sorry about the delay on this one- life REALLY got in the way. And Tumblr's buggy ass mobile app 💀

hopefully i can elaborate more without any crashing in the next round if there is one ashfshf

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 21: refinement & 22: fragile

[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]

chapter text: 21: refinement & 22: fragile

In which Iriel interacts with two Khajiiti women, who are both filled with skooma, but for very different reasons.

“Hold the fucking retort steady, you’re going to destabilise the solution!”

People tell me this section reminds them of Breaking Bad. For the record, I have never watched Breaking Bad. This chapter is based purely on my experience of school chemistry lessons, and people being total dicks to each other.

Iriel grabbed the vessel out of Tsiya’s unsafe claws.

The unsafest of all possible unsafe hands. When I called chapter 15 "claws", the scary-sounding title was undercut by all the physical claws Iriel encounters in the chapter offering sympathy and kindness. Having safe or unsafe hands is not about whether or not you have literal blades attached to them! Tsiya's claws are not what makes her unsafe, but she does also very much have deadly knife-hands.

“Tsiya doesn’t know what she’s fucking talking about!”

Iriel is fun to write when he's completely run out of fucks to give. When he's stopped trying to sheathe his own claws, for other people's benefit.

Still, no matter how many insults they hurled at each other during the day, they always had the drug to bond over every night before they passed out. 

We're about a week and a half on from when Ire got expelled, during which time he has embraced (OK, re-embraced) a life of drugs and crime. I made a timeline, later, and this part fell in mid-Frostfall, meaning Iriel has his 24th birthday about now, not that he registers it. Every night is skooma party night, at Tsiya's.

“Tsiya supposes that Iriel will go over to South Wall again this evening.”

At least Iriel is managing some kind of social life, now? Hanging out with the Balmora thieves, now he's got less to lose by risking it.

“It’s your own fault they don’t speak to you. And no, I won’t talk to Habasi again. It won’t work, and mentioning your name makes her tail start thrashing.”

Whatever Tsiya did to the Guild, it's still unforgivable, even by thief standards. Asking Iriel to talk to Habasi must have cost Tsiya her last shred of pride, and it didn't even make anything better. She's worse off, in fact, because now Iriel's seen her abject herself, he knows how much she's despised by someone who used to care for her. So don't be too hard on Tsiya. Remember Rat Park? She's been trapped, alone, in the bare metal cage with the drugs, for a very long time.

Iriel is perfectly happy to be hard on Tsiya. He ought to have more sympathy, given his history, but of course, it's the opposite. He almost seems to be enjoying the freedom of having someone he's allowed to be mean to, because she so clearly deserves it. After all, she's just like him! It's a nasty habit, to always be looking for people you're allowed to be mean to. And doing it out of reflected self hatred doesn't make it any better for the people you're doing it to. But this one of Iriel's worse traits: he likes to have a valid target. He gets it from his mother.

On to the Bitter Coast.

A Dwemer tube. Of course it would be a fucking Dwemer tube.

This is Habasi's third quest, but the first two are basic thefts within Balmora, and simple enough for Ire, so we skip over them. And yes, the timing of this particular theft was ironic, given his previous Mages' Guild quest. Turns out, Dwemer tubes pop up all over!

he slid the stolen artifact out of his shirtsleeve

On reflection, this raises difficult questions about where Iriel concealed the Dwemer bowl and goblet on his toast-rack of a person, but let's just move on.

“Useless s'wit! How am I supposed to get the blighted slave to Balmora then?

This is one of the most horrific and sad quests in Morrowind. Even if you complete it by saving Rabinna, the picture it paints of how slaves are treated by the Dunmer is unflinchingly bleak. This game pulls no punches in its portrayal of slavery, and it shouldn't.

The Khajiiti slave was tiny and poorly clothed, [...] and her fur felt thin and greasy over her bony ribs. She never complained - indeed, she spoke only to confirm her name: Rabinna.

Unless you can get her disposition to 50, Rabinna will be too frightened to ask you to help her, too scared even to talk to you at all. Iriel's principle reaction to this? Relief he doesn't have to try and make small talk. For fuck's sake, Ire.

Perhaps you should try to, you know, free her or something?

Is it worse, that it does occur to him that he ought to do something, but immediately talks himself out of it? Yes, yes it is.

These apathetic, self-absorbed thoughts came to haunt Iriel for a long time afterwards.

As well they should, because he's being a complete shit.

Vorar Helas lived east of the river, so they had to cross a bridge. Hearing her stumble, Ire turned just in time to catch Rabinna as she almost fell into the water. Touching her, he found she was trembling uncontrollably. “It’s all right,” he said, in what he hoped were encouraging tones. “We’re almost there.” She stared at him in wordless desperation and terror, but followed him to the other side.

I really did take every opportunity to make this worse, and I still didn't do justice to how fucking awful it is. In other circumstances, it might be funny that even when Iriel's trying to "be nice", he's only traumatising her further, but nothing about this is funny.

Ire hunched near the door, hands in his pockets. “I was told you’d pay me in moon sugar,” he said. “Ten units.” ugh this place smells like something fucking died in here, i hope sottilde’s on bar tonight she’s not going to believe the shit i have to put up with…

Ironically, it might be Iriel's authentic air of callous indifference that saves Rabinna, since that's what lets Helas assume it's fine to go ahead and stab her right in front of him.

While we're here, what the fuck is a "unit"? Clearly, I should have thought of something less obviously "I am stacking these items in my Videogame Inventory". But even now, I cannot remember what weights and measures are canon in Morrowind. @sunderlorn would know - actually, @sunderlorn would have headcanoned multiple competing systems of measurement, depending on whether the trader was Imperialised, an Ashlander, an alchemist, a Camonna Tong smuggler, etc etc. Alas, I am not @sunderlorn, and we get this sort of abject hackery. "Units". Fuck's sakes.

Pure horror flooded into him, but then the adrenaline hit. He hurled a Paralyze spell at Helas, who, taken by surprise, had no chance to resist. By the time it wore off, Iriel had cast enough frost spells to drop him lifeless to the floor. Next to Rabinna.

So, when I played it, I went into the climax of this quest completely terrified. Because I knew what would happen, but I was determined to follow Iriel's current point of view, and he hadn't got a word out of Rabinna, didn't see a strong enough reason not to deliver her to Helas. I knew he'd react to him stabbing her, but I had no idea if she'd live. She couldn't have much HP, what if she died in one hit? While I generally have a narrative plan, and often feel free to ignore gameplay and make things up, when it comes to critical life-or-death moments, I like to let the game decide. If she died, she died: that would be the story, and I'd just have to clear up the mess that would leave in Ire's psyche.

She made a faint gasp, and Ire dropped to his knees. In blind panic, he began casting healing spells, anything his meagre skill in Restoration could drag from his fingers.

IT WAS REAL CLOSE.

Only one in five succeeded, but he kept going anyway, forcing vitality into her frail body in weak, irregular jolts. Wrenching her soul back from the brink, inch by agonising inch, as she whimpered and twitched. He knew he did it far more for himself than for her, and it felt almost as violent an act as the stabbing she had already suffered.

In First Aid, I learned that CPR is messy, violent, exhausting, breaks people's ribs, causes organ damage, and barely ever works to actually save anyone's life. We still do it, because the 5% of people it does save make it all worth it. But it's an unpleasant business.

“Khenarthi… Khenarthi…” He leaned to catch her whispered words, cradling her head in his lap. “Rabinna… feels your holy breath, Khenarthi. Lift her… lift Rabinna, and fly her to the Sands Behind the Stars…”

Another thing first aid training does: it ruins you for death scenes. Someone will be splayed on the floor, gasping out a final monologue, their lover tearfully cradling their head in their lap, and I'll be there screaming at the screen: DO something, he's clearly still breathing! Apply compression to the wound!! Why are you not doing CPR?! Yes, I know she whispered something moving, and closed her eyes prettily, but you need to check her airway, she's not dead YET, but she WILL BE!!! Drama is anathema to proper first aid procedure.

Rabinna is praying to the Khajiiti version of Kynareth, who plays the role of a psychopomp, taking souls to heaven.

“No,” Ire pleaded with her. “No, not yet. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” He repeated it over and over, each time less sure which action he was apologising for most.

Sometimes, I think I should have had Iriel fail to save Rabinna, being incapable of healing her. It would form a better contrast to his later successful healing of Julan, near the end of the fic. But perhaps this chapter is bleak enough, and it's not like Iriel needs the angst. At this point, his guilt was going to be critical-mass, regardless of whether she lived or died. And he deserves that, but what's actually going to matter is what he does with it. Guilt is useless on its own, if all it does is make you feel bad and hate yourself, but carry on acting in exactly the same shitty ways.

I have a lot of sympathy for how things like addiction and mental illness put people into psychological survival mode, where it's incredibly difficult to see far enough past your own immediate needs and suffering to care about other people's. I never wanted Iriel to be completely unsympathetic, but here, he totally fails at basic moral responsibility to others. There were things he was capable of doing, he recognised that fact, and then failed to even try to do those things until it was almost too late. He's been selfish and awful, and he knows it.

Knows it... because a helpless slave being stabbed in front of him is impossible to miss. He should get no credit for moral enlightenment, here. What about when the bar isn't on the floor, has Iriel learned to watch out for the needs and suffering of other people, maybe people who aren't obviously way more vulnerable than him?

So much of Iriel's character development, and the fic in general, ended up being about this, about caring for people, and what that means. Obviously it gets tangled up with his issues around giving and receiving love, but it's not a romantic theme at its core. It's about the terrifying fragility of life, and the depths of pain that exist within the people around us, all the time. And how hard it is not to look away from it, because if you see it, then you might have to do something, but what? What can any of us do about pain, when we're so weak and stupid and full of pain ourselves? How can you heal anyone when you're made out of knives?

next: 23: fix previous: 17: VCDRKAA & 18: language & 19: knowledge & 20: again

[rainbow-beanie]

Puss in boots incorrect quotes, featuring team friendship

Purrito: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Puss, used to Purrito’s antics at this point: Sure...

Purrito: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Puss: Okay?

Purrito: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Puss:

Purrito: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Puss: Jesus, that one is a little-

Kitty, interested: No, no, Purrito, keep going.

—————————————————————————

Puss: The first time I ever got upset in front of Kitty, she put her arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask her if she was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

Kitty: I was doing both, for your information.

Purrito: The first time Kitty hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.

—————————————————

In the middle of planning a heist:

Kitty: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you upset.

Purrito: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

Kitty: You have to teach Puss how to drive.

Purrito: ...put the band-aid back on.

———————————————————

Kitty: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

Puss: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Purrito, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

Kitty: You're a bad influence.

Puss: And you don't know your sayings.

————————————————————

Kitty to Purrito: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are.

Puss, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Kitty:

Kitty: okay, new rule, don’t do anything puss would do.

————————————————————————————

Purrito: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Puss: They do.

Kitty: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

—————————————————————————

Kitty: But what about Purrito?

Puss: Don't worry about him.

Kitty: I once watched him fall down five flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.

————————————————

Puss: *sneaking in through the window*

Kitty: *turning in her chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Puss, nervous: uhhhhh, I was with Purrito?

Purrito: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?

———————————————————————

Purrito: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Puss?

Puss: No.

Kitty: I do!

Purrito: I know, Kitty.

Kitty: I’m sad.

Purrito: I know, Kitty.

———————————

Purrito: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.

Puss: What the fuck?

Kitty: They’re having an idea.

——————————————

Puss: So, Purrito is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Kitty: Why?

Puss: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Purrito, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

——————————————

*Puss rushes by with an armful of water bottles*

Purrito: What's going on?

Kitty: Puss wouldn't drink water.

Purrito: ...And?

Kitty: And I asked him how fast he could chug an entire bottle.

Puss, loudly: SIXTEEN OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

——————————————

Kitty: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Purrito.

Puss: You just said it again.

Purrito:

Kitty: I am not a role model.

——————————————

Puss: Where are my fucking boots?

Kitty: Puss, purrito is around, can you say it a little nicer?

Puss, though clenched teeth: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING BOOTS!?

———————————————

Puss & Kitty: Surprise! We're having a baby!

Purrito: What?!

Puss & Kitty: *pulls out adoption papers* It's you!

———————————————

Purrito: You don't think I can fight because of my gender!

Kitty: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Puss can fight in that dress either.

Puss: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.

——————————————

Purrito: I have a bad feeling about this...

Puss: What do you mean?

Purrito: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Puss: No?

Kitty: That actually explains so much.

———————————————————

Puss: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…

Purrito: What’s updog?

Puss: Kitty! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

————————————————

[coraniaid]

Band Candy is a fun episode, and I don't really have much to say about it beyond that.

While Dead Man's Party is bad because it struggles at the things Buffy is usually good at (characterisation, dialogue, and clever use of monsters-as-metaphor), and while Beauty and the Beasts is bad because it spends more time than usual on the things Buffy is typically bad at (consistent world-buildng, plotting, the handling of side character deaths, special effects) without being any better at them than usual, Band Candy is the show playing to its strengths.

A particularly boring pedant might ask why "teenage" Giles is going around calling himself Ripper when The Dark Age established Giles only left Oxford and adopted the Ripper persona in his early twenties (and I know: I've asked before), or why Buffy leaves Giles' house with her mom's car keys in the middle of the day only for it to be fully dark outside in the next scene when she's driving around with Willow, or why Ethan goes from being tied up in a warehouse to leaving town fully paid by Mr. Trick. But this feels like obvious, unimportant nitpicking; the episode itself does not live or die on the answer to these questions.

What makes the episode work is ... well, the things that make most good Buffy episodes work. The characterization (particularly of the band candy influenced Giles and Joyce and Snyder -- all of them acting unlike themselves but in a way that still tells us something about who they normally are); the use of metaphor (Buffy's desire for more independence being framed as her wanting to be allowed to drive, contrasted with the fact that we later see she really is a terrible driver and her Mom was probably right to not want her in a car); the callbacks to the show's previous history (I think it's honestly a minor tragedy that Ethan didn't get to be a character who appeared once every season); the hints we're starting to get about the Mayor and what he might be up to, and the fun interactions between him and Mr. Trick; the convincing awkwardness between Buffy and an almost-fully-recovered Angel (I mean, just the way her face falls when he responds to her light "pretty soon you won't even need me" with a gruff "that'd be better" speaks volumes, and that's before we get on to her reluctance to admit she's broken up with Scott or her offer to have Angel smell her), the way Buffy's fears about the SATs are blended into the wider episode, bookending the episode with a "rite of passage" into adulthood.

It's just a very solid episode. I liked it a lot. I can't quite imagine it being anybody's favorite, but it's hard to imagine anybody disliking it either.

Lastly, Band Candy is typical of many good Buffy episodes of this period in that it feels Faith should be in it but she very obviously isn't. I assume that this episode was written when it still wasn't decided how pivotal her character would be this season. Still, after appearing on the show for a run of three episodes in a row up to this point it's a little jarring that we don't even get a throwaway line about her being missing (in the way we will in Helpless in a few episodes from now). I guess the headcanon handwave is that Faith skipped town for a few days after how badly going to the Homecoming dance with Buffy panned out for her?

(Oh, and the Willow/Xander subplot isn't much fun either, but I'll talk about that more when we get to Lovers Walk.)